Learning to Feel Again
#42 From Suppressed Emotions to Embracing Vulnerability
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The Foundation Cracks
The decision got heated. After hours of trying to convey my opinion, things got gradually worse. A discussion that was supposed to foster mutual understanding turned into a cold argument.
All I wanted was to express how I truly felt. But at 14, I neither had the communication skills nor the capacity to navigate such a situation.
A Game of Squash
Talking to this person felt more like playing squash—a sport where you hit a ball against a wall, only for it to bounce back. Over and over again, I tried to express my feelings as smoothly as possible. But as the conversation dragged on, I grew weaker, emotionally and physically.
Desperate to be heard, I “hit the ball as hard as I could,” hoping for a breakthrough. Instead, the argument turned into an emotionally loud monologue against an unyielding wall.
Numbing the Pain
Overwhelmed, I suppressed my emotions and walked away, only to cry my heart out like a child who’d lost their favorite toy. As a teenager, I didn’t know how to handle such intense feelings. Over time, I became numb, masking my pain with a thick layer of forced positivity.
I learned to suppress everything, waiting for it to pass. Eventually, it became so normal that I forgot how emotions were meant to be expressed. I struggled to understand both myself and others.
Breaking Free
Instead of making conscious choices about my feelings, I lived on autopilot. Before I even acknowledged my emotions, I had already suppressed them.
Fast forward to today, I’m grateful for meditation, self-awareness, and the supportive people who’ve helped me unearth my emotions. My wife, in particular, creates a safe space where I can process my feelings.
Choosing to Feel
By cultivating self-awareness, I’ve learned to identify my emotions and their origins. Depending on the situation, I can consciously decide whether to express them or keep them to myself. Checking in with myself allows me to navigate the maze of emotions in a more sustainable way.
Instead of letting feelings pile up until they explode, I process them one at a time. This transformation has brought me peace and clarity.
I start to appreciate all my emotions and live more honestly with myself. I started to genuinely #yeudoi.
Because the truth is simple:
“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth in uglier ways."
#MyDailyLearning
Today, I reminded myself that it’s okay to feel—whether it’s joy, anger, or sadness. Emotions aren’t obstacles to overcome; they’re signals to listen to. By checking in with myself regularly, I can approach my feelings with kindness instead of judgment.
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Keep staying awesome! #yeudoi