Redefining Success: A Journey from Expectations to Inner Fulfillment
#56 How questioning societal norms led me to a more intentional and peaceful life.
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The Moment That Sparked Reflection
In order to live a bit more intentionally, I decided to pick up a hobby I used to enjoy years ago—watching TED Talks.
After scrolling through the website, I found an interesting video and realized that TED now has a new format, more like an interview. It’s called TED Intersection, where two experts share their thoughts on meaningful topics and questions.
In this particular video, the guests discussed the definition of success. One of them said something that stuck with me:
“Your first definition of success is mostly based on how your parents or society define success.”
That made me reflect on how I viewed success as a child.
Living the Script I Didn’t Write
My early definition of success was simple and familiar:
A house
A stable career (ideally doctor or engineer)
A high income
A car
Holidays around the world
Growing up in a Vietnamese-German household, these expectations were reinforced constantly. Studying well meant you were on the right path—and I wasn’t bad at it. Every bit of praise from adults felt like dopamine, and I became addicted to their approval.
Without realizing it, I bought into the equation:
Academic success → better job → more money → happiness
And honestly, it made sense. Who wouldn’t want money, flexibility, and the freedom to enjoy life?
The Cracks Begin to Show
Over time, through watching countless inspirational videos and listening to podcasts by Gary Vee and Jay Shetty, I started to see things differently.
One video changed my thinking completely. The speaker said:
“The main purpose of education is to help kids find happiness.”
That stopped me. I had never studied to find happiness—I had studied to survive, to meet expectations, to get through the next exam.
She explained that education is about wiring the brain to think, solve problems, and ultimately guide you toward a fulfilling life.
It made me wonder: if that’s the goal, what about the friends I knew who didn’t go to university but were thriving through their businesses? Were they less successful?
Writing My Own Definition
I began to challenge the formulas I grew up with.
Especially after living abroad and meeting people from all over the world, I saw that success looks different for everyone. The more I listened to myself—really listened—the more peace I found. I felt alive.
And then it came to me:
Success is when I go to bed feeling like I love my life—filled with love, kindness, and gratitude.
That’s my personal compass. That’s what guides me now.
Success, Redefined
Not every day is easy. But I’ve learned to stay honest with myself, no matter the noise around me. I’ve let go of someone else’s version of success and embraced one that feels real.
Now, I can truly say:
I am successful.
Not by my parents’ standards—but by mine.
I’m content, I’m grateful, and I’m living according to my values.
In short:
I fucking #yeudoi
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Keep staying awesome! #yeudoi