The Power of Hidden Choices: Understanding Before Judging

#38 A Quote That Resonated Deeply

Oct 06, 2024

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Now jumping into today’s blog:

In today’s blog, we’ll explore the idea of judgment—both how we judge others and how we are judged. Using a powerful quote that resonated deeply with me, we'll connect it to one of my favorite characters from Naruto, Itachi Uchiha. Through his story, I reflect on how our decisions are often misunderstood by others and how we can apply this understanding to our daily lives, especially when forming relationships or facing judgments. Let’s dive in!

In today’s blog, we’ll cover:

A powerful quote that resonated with me and why it’s so relatable in our everyday lives.
The connection between this quote and Itachi Uchiha from Naruto—one of my all-time favorite anime characters.
How Itachi’s story reflects the weight of making difficult decisions that others often misunderstand.
My thoughts on how we judge and are judged, and how we can be more mindful in our relationships.
Practical advice on when to invest more time in understanding the people around us.
How to stay grounded in our own values when faced with judgment.

The Quote That Hit Home

Last week, I watched a video where someone mentioned a quote that truly made me feel heard:

“People only saw the decision I made, not the choices I had.”

He didn’t elaborate much, leaving viewers to interpret the quote themselves. 🌱

Immediately, I thought of Naruto—specifically Itachi Uchiha. If you’re a Naruto fan like me, let this quote sink in and remember why Itachi is the GOAT 🐐. If you haven’t watched Naruto yet, you should start now! Here’s a short summary of why Itachi has been my all-time favorite anime character.

Itachi Uchiha: The Burden of Impossible Choices

Itachi Uchiha from Naruto embodies the quote "People only saw the decision I made, not the choices I had" because his life was filled with painful decisions that were misunderstood by most. Forced to choose between his clan and his village, Itachi sacrificed his own happiness to prevent a civil war. He agreed to kill his entire clan, sparing only his brother, Sasuke, to protect the greater good. 💔
Though many saw him as a villain, Itachi’s true motivations were love, loyalty, and the heavy burden of making impossible choices for peace.

(thanks Chat GPT for this summary)

He had to choose between bad and worse. Essentially, it was a choice between saving his village or allowing a civil war to break out—possibly triggering a world war if other villages exploited the chaos.

The Power of Perspective

Luckily, I’ve never faced anything as extreme as that, and I pray that none of us ever have to. 🙏 But I believe that we all, in some way, experience judgment—whether we’re being judged or judging others—even though we often don’t understand what’s really going on in the background.

Sometimes, I laugh inside because people praise me in ways that feel a bit exaggerated. Other times, I feel hurt because people criticize my decisions, even though my intentions were completely different. 💭

In both cases, people only see a small part of my life, whether online or in person, and form their own image of me. It’s like looking at one piece of a puzzle and trying to guess the whole picture 🧩.

Judging Others: A Two-Edged Sword

This happens to me too. Sometimes, I walk into a café and see someone radiating kindness, making me wonder how awesome they must be. Other times, I’m tempted to call out a student who hasn’t done their homework, without fully understanding why.

Judging and being judged is part of daily life. Rarely do we take the time to dig deeper, to ask why, or to remain open-minded. Why is that?

In my opinion, it’s because we often don’t have the energy or patience. Society pushes us to move fast, stay informed, and be “efficient.” As a result, we make quick judgments to keep up—but that can lead to missing valuable insights or opportunities. 🌍

When to Dive Deeper

Should we always slow down and connect with others on a deeper level?

I don’t think that’s possible with everyone—our energy isn’t limitless ☀️. However, there are two groups of people worth investing extra time and energy to truly understand.

First, the people closest to us—the ones we treasure so much that life without them feels unimaginable 💖. They deserve our attention, especially when they’re going through difficult times or making hard decisions. Even if we can’t solve their problems, simply being there for them can be a powerful support.

The second group includes people we want to get to know better. It might be during a job interview or even a date. Understanding the intention behind someone’s actions gives us a deeper insight into who they truly are.

I’ve often found myself meeting new people who seemed so different from me at first. But after hearing their intentions and values, I realized we had much more in common than I initially thought. Over time, these people became close friends—the kind that moved into the first group. 🤝

What About When We Are Judged?

This is always the hardest part. As a Vietnamese person born in Germany, I’ve grown up between two different sets of values. My German friends had one set of expectations based on their upbringing, while my parents held expectations rooted in Vietnamese culture.

Navigating between these two worlds was tough. For years, I struggled to balance these expectations. Only after traveling and living on my own did I find my own identity. My values became the anchors in my life, guiding my decisions like a compass. 🧭

This helped me take judgment less personally. I’ve learned that what others think of me is often not accurate. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel emotional when judged in ways that contradict who I believe I am.

In those moments, I go back to my core values. I remind myself that only I truly understand my intentions. Becoming my own best friend helps me take things less personally—but I’m still a long way from being immune to judgments. 💡

#MyDailyLearning

Today’s blog taught me that we often judge or get judged based on incomplete information. To avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, it’s important to invest time and energy in the people who matter most to us, and also to remind ourselves that our values are our compass—guiding us even when others can’t see the full picture.

So a call to action for you. Protect and look after your loved ones by being there for them. Ask, if you feel like something is off. Let’s make deep conversation the norm. Let’s make the world a better place by spreading more kindness and love.

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Son of a Viet Kieu