The Silent Struggle: Rediscovering the Power of Emotions

#39 How self-awareness and the right support system can transform your life

Oct 14, 2024

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Now jumping into today’s blog:

A week ago, I had an interesting conversation with my wife about expressing emotions. It got me thinking—why is it that so many of us, myself included, find it so difficult to share what’s going on inside us? For me, there are a few reasons, which I've reflected on over time.

Not Having a Safe Space

When I was much younger, I vividly remember Vietnamese adults yelling at me whenever I cried. The common phrase, "nín," was like a magic word every Vietnamese kid knows. It roughly translates to, "You better stop crying now, or you'll be in even more trouble."

After hearing this countless times, I realized how ineffective words alone were. A crying child doesn’t stop because someone tells them to. But as with many things in life, actions speak louder than words. Based on my personal "data", there seemed to be a magical combination—when "nín" was said while holding a slipper, the chances of me stopping increased by about 82%.

When was the last time you heard that magical word "nín"?

Fear of Being Judged

As I entered middle school, I no longer felt safe sharing my thoughts and emotions. I tried my best to put on a brave face and smile, even when I didn’t feel like it. Over time, I began to suppress my emotions because I feared being labeled as weak or a burden to others.

That fear became a belief system, one that shaped how I interacted with people. I didn’t reach out for support because I convinced myself it was better to keep my struggles to myself. The more I suppressed, the more it became normal to not share anything at all.

Looking back, it wasn’t just about keeping emotions in—I had forgotten I even had the need to be heard or understood. I was so used to bottling things up that I lost touch with the part of me that craved connection and validation.

The Transition: From Suppression to Numbness

There was a shift at some point. When I was younger, I would justify to myself that suppressing my emotions was the right thing to do. But as I grew older, I stopped even having that internal conversation. Instead, I reached a point where I didn’t feel the need to share anything with anyone. I wasn’t suppressing my emotions anymore—I was just numb.

Is it bad to live like this, not even realizing you need to be heard? For a long time, I thought it was okay. From age 16 onward, I went through life on autopilot, without questioning the belief system I had built. I listened to others and created safe spaces for them, but I didn't allow myself the same luxury.

The Turning Point: Connection and Support

It wasn’t until I met a few people who radiated warmth and empathy that things started to change. Their kindness slowly melted the emotional ice block I had built around myself. They didn’t have to do anything extraordinary; just by being themselves, they helped me reconnect with my own feelings.

Thanks to them, I started to hear my inner voice again. I rediscovered my needs, my values, and—most importantly—my ability to share my thoughts and emotions without fear. These people became my best friends, not just because I could share my worries with them, but also because I could share my joy without feeling guilty.

Choosing to Share

Today, I’m at a point where I can make a conscious decision about whether or not I want to share my feelings. I’ve moved from suppressing my emotions, to losing touch with them, to now actively deciding how and when to express them.

I believe this is the final transition in my journey of emotional awareness. I now have control over my emotions, not by keeping them hidden, but by knowing that I have the freedom to share them when I choose.

#MyDailyLearning: The Power of Self-Awareness

The journey of sharing emotions is different for everyone. For me, it was a process of self-discovery and healing. There are many reasons why we suppress our feelings—sometimes it’s because of external pressures, and sometimes we stand in our own way.

But I believe that self-awareness, the ability to understand your own needs and emotions, is a form of liberation. It gives you a sense of control and self-love. You don’t have to share everything with everyone, but being honest with yourself and trusting those who truly care about you creates bonds that enrich your life.

Call to Action: Embrace Your Journey

If any part of my journey resonates with you, take a moment today to reflect on your own emotional awareness. Are there things you’ve been holding back? Is there someone in your life who could provide a safe space for you to share what’s really going on?

It’s never too late to reconnect with yourself or open up to others. Start small—whether it’s journaling, talking to a close friend, or just acknowledging your emotions internally. Change is always possible, especially when we have the right people around us to support and encourage our growth.

Remember, the path to self-awareness isn’t linear, but each step you take towards it will bring more authenticity, joy, and connection into your life.

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